Hey now it may have been flat where he was, but has your two-headed bro-in-law ever heard of Granite Peak
or Spirit Mountain
or the Legend, the Beast, the Mother of all Rad Mountains, MOUNT BOHEMIA!!!
You know, he's right, you're not about to mistake northern Wisconsin for the Grand Tetons anytime soon, but it's better- trust me- than Kansas, and certainly better than what you'd expect in the midwest. Plus you get all the added off-season benefits of monstrous mosquitoes and blisteringly hot summers. On the minus side, though, the area is not being overrun by Californians.
I just have to work on my norgie-pine cone eater accent. Where's the Prairie Home Companion tapes???