Breaking News: New Ski Resort to be Built in Dundalk 12
Author thumbnail By M. Scott Smith, DCSki Editor

In a surprising move, a major ski resort developer announced today that it plans to build a new ski resort in Dundalk, Maryland. The resort will become the largest ski resort in the Mid-Atlantic, and one of only two ski resorts in the state of Maryland.

The American Ski and Upholestry Company (NYSE: ASUC), which owns numerous resorts in New England, the Rockies, and Canada, announced during a press conference this morning that it intends to expand its portfolio of resorts into the Mid-Atlantic region, tapping into a wealth of area skiers. The company spent over a year surveying possible sites for the new resort, ultimately settling on Dundalk, a suburb of Baltimore.

“We believe Dundalk is the ideal location for a new ski resort,” explained Leg Pullin, Director of New Projects for the American Ski and Upholestry Company. “Dundalk is in close proximity to both Baltimore and Washington, D.C. - in fact, it is closer to this major metropolitan area than any other ski resort in the region. We believe that fact alone will give us an enormous competitive advantage in this market,” he said.

Construction for the resort is slated to begin next week, following regulatory approval from various state agencies. The first phase of the resort’s development, expected to be completed in time for the next winter season, will add 82 trails to the new resort and 17 lifts, including 12 high-speed quads and one 8-person heated gondola. Most trails will begin at the top of a 20-foot hill in downtown Dundalk, although in the second phase of the resort’s development, interconnected trails are expected to be added to a nearby hill.

“We’ll have hill-to-hill skiing,” said Pullin.

Residents of Dundalk were excited about the prospect of a major ski resort coming to town.

“This represents an historic moment for the town of Dundalk,” remarked Paul Otician, Mayor of Dundalk. “It will really put Dundalk on the map,” he added.

Later, an aide from the Mayor’s office clarified that Dundalk is already on the map. “In his excitement, the Mayor mispoke,” explained the aide.

When asked about placing a resort in downtown Dundalk, architectural engineer and Massachusetts resident Brian Preston said “I think it’s a good idea.”

Some long-time area skiers expressed concern over the location of the new resort, however.

“Dundalk is really close to the Chesapeake Bay,” said one area skier who requested anonymity, Tom Johnson. “They hardly get any snow there. It’s quite warm in the winter, in fact, and there aren’t any mountains anywhere near there,” he argued.

“We expect some to second guess our choice of location,” countered Pullin, adding that city lights from Baltimore will light up the night sky, allowing the resort to offer night skiing without the expense of slopeside lights. He also said the resort hopes to receive “bay effect” snow.

Other ski areas in the region are bracing for the new competition.

“Initially, we didn’t feel threatened, because we questioned how a resort with a 20-foot vertical could possibly compete with us,” explained one official at a Pennsylvania resort. “But then we began to realize that this resort will benefit from the unparalleled nightlife of Dundalk. Our aprés ski activities can’t compete with all the activities available in Dundalk. They have a McDonalds!” she exclaimed.

“It’s all about location, location, location,” said Pullin. “From day one, we will have slopeside lodging. There’s a small apartment complex already located adjacent to our property, and we are currently in negotiation to purchase this complex. We’re trying to evict the current residents now.”

“Visitors to our resort will be able to take a break from the slopes for some shopping. There’s a strip mall right next to our property with a Home Depot and PetSmart,” he added.

Please note: This article is a work of fiction originally published on April Fool’s Day. But you knew that by now, didn’t you?
About M. Scott Smith

M. Scott Smith is the founder and Editor of DCSki. Scott loves outdoor activities such as camping, hiking, kayaking, skiing, and mountain biking. He is an avid photographer and writer.

Author thumbnail
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Reader Comments

B-man
April 1, 2001
April fools :-)
Blondie
April 3, 2001
That is ridiculous. I mean how are they ever going to keep snow there and I've never heard of bay effect snow and even if they did build the hill how are they going to transport the bay snow? Besides I don't think a 20 foot vertical is going to be much competition to other resorts I mean even bryce is 500 feet. So I think I would definitely think twice before buying a season pass.( are there any lift prices available yet?)
AirHawk
April 3, 2001
April Foolds Blondie!!
blondie
April 4, 2001
I don't get it. It still seems ridiculous to me to put a resort in a town that is too warm and has no hills. I think those people obviously have too much money and too few brains.
If it was me I would put it in the mountains somewhere cold maybe with a train nearby. With shopping and chocolate.
Now that makes sense!
Billie McCumber
May 8, 2001
Hardy Har!!!!!!!!!!!
JB
November 22, 2001
lKudos to DC ski's writers for that story. It is very funny, and i liked it
Blondie
November 29, 2001
I heard the unseasonably mild weather has brought on the Bay Effect snows. Why can't they open more than just 28 of their 82 trails?
Bowlin babe!!
November 29, 2001
Lookie, lookie. They'll be buldin' that ole' resort near the Dundak Marine Terminal so they can have a nice view of the
wudder hon'. I betcha they could use dat wudder to run thru da snow machines to make that there snow. It'll be nice to see
shades of brown, yellow, and various hues of green on the ground. Make your own poop snowmen if they built the resort
neat to dat poop plant in Essex. Dem Dundakers will be rollin' in the dough when they gets to sell bowlin' balls and teach
all them yuppies how to bowl and ski at the same time. Duck pins and ski poles-a New Olympic sport. Which will be
good timing when ole' Bal'more and DC bribes the Olympic committee to finally bring dat there ceremony to the area.
Can wait to see that resort amongst all those $24,000 homes and Section-8 apartments. Maybe dell build dat resort in
Historical Dundak. That'll give them turds something new to Bih about other den dat Evil Brian Wilson Guy. Hey, I
think he's cool and I just love his surfer tunes.
Franz
November 29, 2001
It will be great to see Picabo and company compete in 2006 at Dundalk.

This sure beats tall ships. GO USA!!!
Jim
February 21, 2002
THIS ISNT POSSIBLE FOR ONE DUNDALK IS FLAT WHITE TAIL IS 90 MINS NORTH WISP IS 3 1/2 HRS WEST TIMBERLINE RESORT AND SEVEN SPRINGS MOUTAIN RESORT ARE WITH IN 4HRS BUT THEY ARE WORTH THE DRIVE SO THE LAZY PPL IN BMORE HAVE TO WAKE UP!!!!
CAPTWAPIII@AOL.COM
July 18, 2002
I REMEMBER MAKING YELLOW SNOW IN DUNDALK...THE BEER MADE ME DO IT !!!!
lepercon
December 19, 2009
I'm siiting in my house thinking of a hill to go down and if the resort was around we wqould go there so yeah I hope it is possible u know u got to think hard about it and if u don't blondie u r a dumbass

Ski and Tell

Snowcat got your tongue?

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